Will there be any problems with our second parent adoption if we are inseminating at home with known donor sperm? We have detailed contracts spelling out responsibilities and expectations with my partner and I and the donor.

Someone suggested there could be a problem, legally if a facility/physician is not involved with our conception.



In order to outline the rights and responsibilities between the biological mother and the sperm donor, a sperm donor agreement is necessary. This contract will spell out the intentions of all parties regarding the donation and the child conceived.

Legal issues may arise when one party desires to play a larger role in the life of the child, even if this contradicts the initial agreement. The donor may want visitation rights, or even custody, or the biological mother may request child support. If the insemination is done by a licensed physician and there is no involvement in the child’s life by the donor, sperm donor agreements are enforceable in some states. However, sperm donor agreements (regardless of involvement of a physician) are not enforceable in New York.

During a second-parent adoption in New York, the court will ask for the biological “genesis” of the baby, i.e. sperm bank or known donor. If you used a sperm bank, a letter from the sperm bank regarding the alternative insemination will likely suffice and no further information regarding the donor will be requested. However, if you used a known donor, you likely will be obligated to identify him. Since the court will regard the donor as the legal father, his paternal parental rights will have to be terminated — or he will have to surrender his rights or consent to the adoption — in order for the second-parent to adopt.

Although a known donor may have consented in the known donor agreement to surrender rights or consent to the adoption, he may change his mind. Since the agreement is not binding in New York, the court is not obligated to enforce it. The court may look to the contract for guidance as to the intent of the parties while the court determines the best interests of the child. (In New York, the use of a physician is not dispositive, but, similar to the agreement itself, can help strengthen the court’s understanding of the parties’ intent.)

If you choose to use a known donor via a known donor agreement, it is important that the agreement is clearly written, addresses possible scenarios and changes in circumstances, and that both parties attest to understanding the content and the consequences of the agreement. Since the court may review the document, it is advisable to construct the document under the advice of an attorney. Additionally, an experienced attorney can assist you in including statements specific to your family’s personal needs and desires. A well-drafted agreement can also help remind all parties of their respective wishes and wishes for the child.

We will be happy to hear your thoughts

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