This boils down to one question: Do you want to be genetically connected to your children? For gay men and women, there are many ways to be connected to a child biologically:
- Gay men may use their sperm to inseminate a donor’s eggs or a surrogate mother using in vitro fertilization
- Lesbians may use an anonymous or known sperm donor to inseminate one or both partners’ eggs and become pregnant.
- Lesbian partners who both want a biological connection to their child may use one partner’s egg (inseminated with a donor’s sperm) inserted into the other partner’s uterus using in vitro fertilization, who can then carry the child to term in her womb.
Other couples may be more interested in adoption because of the potential complications or costs of going the biological route.
Adoption may be right for you if:
- You want to provide a home for a foster child or a child in the state welfare system (There are many children in the U.S. who do not have a home, especially those who are older or have disabilities).
- You have fertility issues or feel age or the physical demands of pregnancy and birth will be challenging to you or your partner.
- You think there are enough babies in the world without you throwing your hat (and womb) in the ring.
Whichever route you choose, each comes with its own set of challenges, concerns, and costs, outlined in the following pages. So get out your smartphone apps or personal information robots of choice, and get ready to take notes.