Insurance for Lesbian Insemination: Ready, Set, – Oh, Wait

insemination insurance for lesbians

By Kaleigh R.

Getting married was the most amazing experience of my life. That is, until now. After seven years together, we’re planning to start a family.

Early on in our engagement, it was obvious (somewhat painfully) just how different our experiences would be. Planning a wedding as a lesbian couple living in Florida wasn’t exactly easy. We felt like we had to come out all the time. There were great experiences, but there were also very awkward ones.

Let’s face it – things are different for couples like us. Gay couples. LGBT families like ours. There also aren’t that many resources out there. Since our wedding, we’ve looked for ways to share our experiences and hope that someone, somewhere finds it helpful. Deciding to have a baby calls those feelings to action.

Honestly, I don’t think the excitement has set in for us just yet. There are just so many things to consider. So many decisions to be made. So. Much. Planning.

Insurance, choosing a donor, IUI/IVF, choosing a fertility doctor, second-parent adoption, home visits, lawyers, cost. Overwhelmed doesn’t really do these feelings justice. And these are just the things we’re dealing with so far.

We decided to start with our medical insurance provider. C is on my insurance as domestic partner, and I’ll be the one carrying, so this part shouldn’t be that complex, right? Wrong.

Trying to understand medical insurance coverage is hard enough, but trying to make heads or tails of the infertility benefits (if you’re lucky enough to have them like we are) is nearly impossible. After several lengthy weeks of research, here’s what I’ve learned so far:

Our coverage requires us to meet one of the following criteria:
• 12 months of attempting to conceive naturally
• Diagnosis of infertility
• 6 unsuccessful insemination cycles

They also require use of a specific network of doctors. Commence panic. We were referred to a doctor by good friends and we are excited to work with him. We also did a lot of research and we know he is gay-friendly. The thought of essentially starting the search for a doctor over again was daunting – especially here in Florida, where the number of gay-friendly fertility doctors is quite possibly in the single-digits. Luckily, we later found out that our doctor is part of the approved network. Crisis averted.

Recently, I actually caught myself saying ‘So, what happens if I’m not able to obtain an infertility diagnosis from my doctor?’ WHAT. I honestly couldn’t believe the words came out of my mouth. Did I really catch myself seeking an infertility diagnosis? This, unfortunately, is a side effect of being ‘lucky enough’ to be provided these benefits. I couldn’t possibly have felt worse.

On a positive note, we found out that all of our doctor’s visits, preliminary tests and medications will be covered by our insurance. We’re not sure about the actual insemination yet, since we haven’t gotten an infertility diagnosis. We’re still working through the process though, so we remain optimistic.

At this point, we are taking this journey one step at a time, one decision at a time and hoping for the best. We’re excited about taking this next step in our lives and we won’t let the overwhelming process rain on our sunshine.

Kaleigh and her wife, Cecile were married in 2011 and currently reside in Florida. They are the women behind SHE and SHE, a blog about all things lesbian. They hope to become parents in 2014 and many of their blog posts are dedicated to their journey to parenthood.


  1. Kate says:

    Congratulations on having insurance that will cover some of your costs! That is amazing. We were not so lucky with my insurance, but it has been worth every penny to have Z in our lives. At the beginning I was panicked about the cost. As we settled into the routine it became no big thing and in the end I would do it again in a heartbeat.


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