Adoption Complete! The Moment We’ve Been Waiting For

Lesbian adoption complete

As of this past Thursday, we are officially parents.

In a whirlwind of activity, my wife and I brought home our amazing, beautiful, precious daughter after being on the adoption waitlist for seven months. It is still hard to believe. We are no longer waiting. It is all over and it is all beginning all at the same time.

As I look back on the past year and half since we began this journey towards adoption, I realize that I have learned a few things. It’s hard to put these lessons into words, but I will try my best.

First of all, I have learned that people are incredible. The people that have helped us throughout this journey will never know what an incredible difference they have made to us. The people at our adoption agency brilliantly helped us wade through the, sometimes, rough waters of adoption. The birth parents of our beautiful daughter are so incredible and they are some of the bravest people that I have ever met. Their love for their family is inspiring and I have learned a lot about what being a family means from them. Whenever I start to doubt the goodness of humanity, I will look back on these past months and remember just how good people have proven themselves to be.

Second of all, I have learned the importance of accepting the things that come into your life. For much of this process, I fought against what was and wished instead for the way I wanted them to be. Somewhere along our travels towards adoption, I started to accept things the way that they were and to instead believe that things would work out just as they were supposed to. And did they ever. I am not saying that things were not incredibly hard, but instead of wishing that they weren’t so hard, I began to accept that they were hard and believed that one day I would understand why they were happening. This was a huge shift for me and one that became really important as we got further into the process.

The last lesson is one about how seemingly impossible this journey towards building a family can be. There were so many days where I got caught up in thinking that no one would ever chose us. I thought that there was no way that we would ever bring home a baby. I second-guessed our decision to adopt. I looked at statistics and thought about what a tiny chance we had at ever being successful in this process. I doubted everything. It always just seemed so impossible. All of it. There were times I didn’t think I could go through with it. It seemed too hard. And now looking back, I realize that this process has made me stronger than I have ever been before. This process has put in me in a place where I can appreciate ever little thing about being a parent. Waking up in the middle of the night to feed our daughter doesn’t seem so bad because of what we have been through. The fact that I have no idea how to actually raise a child doesn’t seem so scary because of what we have been through. The road was difficult and challenging and I know for many of you out there, the road has been even more difficult and even more challenging. All I can possibly say is that every challenge is preparing you to be any even better parent. Every difficulty is preparing you to do an even better job raising a child. Everything that we are all going through is not only totally worth it, but it is also making us better parents and stronger families.

So thank you all for coming along on this journey with us. It has been such an honor to share our story with you. Your support has been unbelievably important through all of this. Should anyone out there ever begin to consider adoption and have any questions that I might be able to answer about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I have learned an incredible amount throughout this journey and have been helped by some incredible people and I look forward to being able to provide that same kind of support for others in the future.

Jess and Carla live in the suburbs of Chicago. You can follow Jess’ adoption adventure here in her previous posts or at her blog, Two Mommies Trying to Adopt.

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