We chose to not find out the sex of our baby, mainly because we felt it is one of the few good natural surprises left in this world, but also because we didn’t want our baby’s life to start out full of stereotypes of pink ruffles and dolls or blue hats and footballs. We figured that this child is going to spend its entire life fighting off stereotypes and prejudices; why not start on with a level playing field? We painted the nursery yellow and our moms threw us the cutest, most neutral baby animal themed baby shower we could ask for. We loved opening up our gifts of khaki colored pjs and green and yellow onesies. We learned that nothing says unisex like ducks and giraffes.
Of course, there were the occasional gift givers who just couldn’t grasp the concept of buying a gift when they didn’t know the sex of the baby. These people would usually say “I’ll send you something once I know the sex.” Then there were those who just couldn’t resist the urge to shop and would end up wrapping both a “boy” outfit and a “girl” outfit complete with gift receipts to return the unwanted one.
We feel that we did as well as one can hope. Our little girl’s wardrobe in her first few months was half neutral colored and half, well…pink (from all the clothes that came in as gifts as soon as she was born). Now, she has outgrown all of the baby gifts and we now survive off hand-me-downs from family and friends who have girls slightly older than our daughter. Her wardrobe is now 5% non-pink and 95% pink.
I am actually more fine with that than I had envisioned, (but it drives my partner crazy). Maybe this is partly because I am the one toting our nearly bald baby around all day and the one always hearing “What’s his name?” or “How old is he?” when she’s dressed in anything but pink. (Literally, anything but pink. It is fascinating to me that society has labeled all colors of baby clothes “boy” except pink. Boys get blue, green, orange, yellow, red…even purple.) So the days my partner dresses her, she digs down deep in the drawer, searching for the last remaining non-pink article of clothing floating in the sea of pink (the red overalls are a favorite), while I find myself dressing her like….well, a baby girl. I guess part of it is also that I don’t want my daughter dressed any differently than anyone else’s daughter just because she has two moms. I hang out with a lot of straight moms and subconsciously, maybe I feel that people expect her to be dressed more “butch” than a daughter of straight parents and I want to prove them wrong.
My partner and I do love the made-for-gayby clothes, like the onesies that say “hatched by two chicks” or “I love my two mommies.” But honestly, with one income and a baby not old enough to care, we just can’t afford to spend twice the price of a non-gay themed shirt on something that she is going to grow out of after wearing it twice. So until our daughter starts to voice her own clothing preferences, pink hand-me-downs it is. And if she ends up having a little brother, well…it’s ducks, giraffes, and pink hand-me-downs for him too!