I think I may have blinked since the last time I posted right before Hurricane Irene in August, but in the past four months, there seems to be babies everywhere. Actually, what happened was that I started a new job at a digital agency and disappeared into a vortex of work and work travel, and in the meantime, births occurred, newborns grew, and friends moved out of New York City for the greener pastures of Connecticut, where space is plentiful, life is easier and good schools are more readily available.
Perched on my lap in the pic is baby Vi, who grew to 17 pounds since I last spent time with her in August, which is also the last time I spent time with my friend H, one of Vi’s moms. Flashback to four years ago, when I first met H at work – our conversations revolved around relationships, getting ahead at work, and buying real estate in New York City. Time seemed less structured, we were all figuring things out, and we could always get together for impromptu walks around the Slope or have a chat over a pint at The Gate.
Living in NYC, most of my friends, both gay and straight and in-between, have delayed having kids while pursuing their careers and finding relationships. This must have been the year, because three straight couples and two lesbian couples gave birth this year, and most were in mid-to-late 30s, with a third of the straight couple in their early 40s! One minute I’m out with friends at bars having drinks, and the next thing you know, there’s an onslaught of baby showers and baby get-togethers where an invitation from 1pm to 4pm really means 1pm to 4pm. Babies have schedules, need their feedings and naps, and parents are at their mercy.
I think I may be lucky that all my friends had kids at the same time, because I’m up on the baby vernacular, the trials and tribulations of parents with newborns, and have gotten to the point where carrying a baby in my arms is bordering on natural. (I used to be terribly afraid of wriggly newborns, and preferred ambulatory three year olds.) Now I have an inkling of what awaits when I have one of my own, and at the same time, I’ve been relaxing into the realization that I just don’t know when it’s going to happen at this point.
Instead of pursuing single motherhood, I took a step back over the past four months, to get a bit of perspective. I started a job with insane agency hours, and I love the challenge and nature of the work, but realize that I’ll have to scale back on hours if I move forward with having a child. I also made the happy realization that I wanted to finally settle down and own property in NYC, ridiculous as the prices per square feet may be. I’ve put a down payment on a sweet little place in Prospect Heights and looking forward to moving in and feathering my nest in the new year.
In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying my friends’ babies. But who knows what will happen in 2012? I’ll continue to share my dating war stories as a late-30 something with kids on the brain.
Happy New Year!