A Gay Dad’s Great Big Journey to Baby Number Two

Gay Dad BloggerHi there! My name is Ryan and I run a little personal website called prideinlife.com, which focuses on my (mis)adventures in becoming a first-time father with my adorable smoochie husband, Michael (also known as Jeremy, Jer, JerBear, Baby Daddy, He-who-uses-the-last-of-the-toothpaste and more).

But I’m here to share some exciting news with you beautiful folks: my (mis)adventures are (hopefully) about to extend to becoming a second-time father.

Yup, as we speak, my sweetums and I are in the process of gathering information and beginning the planning phase of welcoming baby numero dos. But, before we go too far down that road, let me tell you a little bit about us.

I’m in my early-thirties, I work for a telecommunications company and design Ethernet circuits. Chances are if you use Netflix, watch HBO or have ever heard of the internet, you’re familiar with my work. I’m an avid semi-pro photographer on the side. I’m obsessed with mid-century modern and Danish modern furniture, vintage dishes and cookware and Fiestaware in Paprika, Chocolate, Turquoise and Shamrock.

Jer is in his mid-thirties (I love saying that), he works for a telecommunications and cable company as a Project Manager. If you’ve used a TV or cell phone in Oklahoma, you’re familiar with his work. In his free time, he loves a glass (bottle) of wine, a good book (gossip magazine) and watching classic films (every iteration of The Real Housewives he can possibly work in).

Our tale of romance began many moons ago. We met each other while working at another telecom company nearly a decade ago. We became friends but we were both with other people at the time. Jer also spent a few years bouncing between Oklahoma and his home state of Iowa for business.

A few years ago, we both ended up back at the same company, in the same city and with the same relationship status according to Facebook (which was “Single”). We started talking and, in true gay form, we were living together within a month. We were engaged within six months and married in about eighteen months. (We were married in Iowa, Jeremy’s motherland; it’s not recognized in Oklahoma.)

Life kind of went on fast forward from that point and, before we knew it, our son, whom we lovingly refer to as The Bean, was here. He was this little six pound ball of awesomeness we were totally in love with him. We became those parents who posted everything he did to Facebook (News flash: we just pooped AGAIN!) and began referring to him as “advanced” in every sentence.

Skip ahead fifteen months and we’ve mellowed quite a bit as we’ve grown into parenthood. Parenting came pretty natural to both of us and it certainly helped that we’ve been blessed with a son who is intelligent, funny, healthy and good-natured to a fault (what do you expect? He’s quite obviously advanced). We have our daily routine down to an art and we can handle the Bean and his needs without even thinking about it. Life is pretty much a big gay Norman Rockwell painting around here and we’ve got no complaints. So what else is there to do besides completely shake things up and double the amount of child-related work and expenses?

Over the next few months, I’ll be checking in and keeping everyone up-to-date on our progress as Jer and I decide to go down the road of parenthood for a second time. As of right now, we’re considering surrogacy, Indian surrogacy and adoption. Each option comes with it’s own set of obstacles and barriers for us, so we’ll walk you through our thoughts on each avenue and explain how we’ve reached the right decision for our family.

Stay tuned. It’s going to be an exciting (and advanced no doubt) ride!

Ryan lives in Tulsa, OK with his partner and son. He’ll be blogging about his journey here, but you can also find him at his personal blog, Pride in Life, where he blogs about design, family, and anything else that comes to mind.


  1. Gabriel says:

    It’s incredibly nice to have some of my own seinnmetts reaffirmed in published form. It’s intriguing how a mere few years can make all the difference in the world in terms of cultural awareness. Makes one feel aeons older, doesn’t it?


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